Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Five hundred, Twenty-five thousand, Six hundred minutes

How do you measure, measure a year?

In day light


A beautiful sunny summer day <3


In sunsets


The sunrise the day before Haven was born :)

In midnights



In cups of coffee


It wasn't coffee... but I had to drink a whole lotta cups of water to come to believe the results of these puppies haha
 In inches


I definitely made the allotted 40 inches hahaha

8.13 and 19 3/4 inches long; minutes after his arrival :)

 In miles


Walking; miles and miles of walking
In laughter


My Chopstix family on my lasr day of work

and strife


Weston's Funeral </3

One year ago today I was laying on the cold floor of a Hospital room. My heart was a little bit shattered - It definitely wasn't the best night; not one bit.
I remember thinking that I could never possibly mend from so much sadness!
It was a terribly sad night.

But here I am... one year later... and happier than I've ever been in my life.
I learned from my experiences. I learned the importance of taking responsability for your own choices or mistakes... and also that no one can make you do anything; that if you choose to be a victim... well... simply put, you will be a victim.

All in all I made it through the year; I did mend; and I guess that's the point I'm writing this blog to express. Sometimes you just don't think that you're going to make it. And of course I still feel pain and mourn over that sad day... but it doesn't reach its boogey man fingers into every area of my life like it once did.

So much happens in a year. Time sometimes gives you the opportunity to laugh. Time brings about sad things too, like the death of my friend Weston. Time doesn't heal all wounds completely; I don't believe in that. But time helps you to come to terms with things. Time gives you time to learn and grow, inch by inch, stronger so that when you feel that pain, you understand a little better how to cope in the face of it.

And in the end...

time gives you time to realize over and over again how very beautiful life really is. 

Sometimes remembering that life is beautiful was my saving grace. I considered giving up on that belief a year ago; considered numbering myself among the lifeless, miserable human beings who have given up on the joy of life... but I found strength from a higher power and continued on in my belief that life really doesn't suck.

And now here I am, one year later, and time has given me the time to realize life's beauty all over again. 



Sunday, December 5, 2010

Not enough time

The title that I made for this post last night is 'Not enough time' and it is so truely fitting. I've been trying to do some other journaling and get that done. My laundry is (once again) turning into an ugly monster and climbing up the wall. Nothing is organized in my room. I just finished baking 6 dozen cookies for a Christmas party cookie exchange. And my poor little Haven has hardly had five seconds of my time besides when I was bathing him, changing him or feeding him.

Over whelmed, I am.

I do have quiet moments - I can't lie. But they mostly consist of laying with Haven because he refuses to sleep by himself.

He's gotten himself into this schedule lately. It's food time around 11 or 12. Then if the lights don't go out and I'm not laying down with him after he falls asleep nursing - he fusses for the rest of the night (leaving me a very frustrated Momma). He's very particular.

Oh well. He forces me to go to bed at a decent hour.

I'm going to a Blandin/Sumbot Christmas party tomorrow. We leave tomorrow at 10. BTW if I have to make that stupid Calgary trip one more time... I'm going to rip my hair out. JK I love my hair... but really. Five times in one month? We need cheaper transportation methods so we don't always have to drive there to pick people up.

Kesaia had her birthday party today. It was great.... (if you could hear my voice you would note the sarcasm).

It was NUTS. Eventually I just ran off to my Momma's room to hide in peace, away from all of those screaming children. But... I'm glad Kiss had a wonderful party :)

Anywho. I need to get back to my other journaling and so here is a few pics of the week.



A mad Hav after scratching his wittle face :(
 
A much happier Hav after Momma put his no scratch gloves back on... mmmm they taste good too :)

Oh look, I'm driving to Calgary


Ahahhahahah- Haven's fightin' face

Recyleable bags are great for lots of things;
1. Carrying groceries
2. Carrying baby blankets, travel stuff, soothers etc.
3. Carrying fat babies


One of those quiet moments :)

Oh look! We're driving to Calgary AGAIN!

This ol' guy needed to be picked up :)
Grandpa!!!


I was on the phone and I couldn't talk to him and keep him entertained.
Haven thought this handsome new friend he found on top of Momma's dresser would work for a while. They had a pretty exciting conversation :)

A Birthday party, balloons, tons of unnecesary candy, cake and crafts.
Don't ya love 'em???

Friday, November 26, 2010

Thinking outside of myself: "How would you fight?"

I've been doing a lot of much needed personal journaling lately about the past year and so I haven't really had time to pop on here and write anything new for a few days. I've decided to take a break, though, for something important.

Tonight I watched CNN Heroes :)

I feel kind of frustrated with myself now... I won't lie.

I just feel a little disapointed in myself for only being moved to 'make a change in the world' whenever someone talks about it on TV or whenever a store is campaining for a charity. Besides the moments when I'm shopping or the moments when I stumble upon a TV show that's raising awareness for others who have less in the world... I carry on blissfully, worrying only for my own problems, and pretending that my laundry pile that's been steadily climbing up my bedroom wall, is the biggest issue in the world.

I've become the person who only gets upset about world issues when someone brings it up or when I hear about it on the radio. I hate that person; I think that person is concieved and inconsiderate of other's hurts and pains... alas, that person is who I've become. Complacency is a terrible thing to allow into your life.

I need to change!

So I've decided that once a month I'm going to write in my blog about an issue that the world is facing now or highlight someone in need and a way in which I can help to change it/make this pretty world in which we live a better place. Everyone can make a difference and I guess if I have a goal then it'll keep me on track.

If I can ever find time to blog that is! Little Hav is so demanding of my attention lately. On a side note today I was kind of irritated with him all day while trying to get things down (ie laundry, eating, cleaning, sleep in general, showering etc. ;). He's been so fussy and naggy and I couldn't put my finger on what exactly was wrong. Finally, I put him on my lap and just talked to him. He was. in. Haven heaven. All he wanted was a little bit of his Mommy's attention. He smiled and laughed and did that funny 'spit all over the place/blowing out of his slobbery lips' thing that I truely do love (I'm not even being sarcastic there; it really does warm up my heart). Then shortly after those happy moments together I felt something warm on his back; yup... Haven poo. all over my hand (how in the heck it gets all the way up his back I will never understand).

Ya give some, ya get some. Ha. :)



Haven looking pretty impressed with himself after he got Havie poo all over me, the bed, my shirt, his shirt and is just freshly bathed body.


Back on the 'world issues' thing (even though I could probably spend all day on the cute things Havie does ;).

So at the beginning of the blog I mentioned that I watched a show called CNN Heroes. It was so completely inspiring. It show cased 10 different people; ordinary people with extraordinary hearts. None of them were famous or really popular at all; but all of them had devoted their lives to helping those of others. They were all committed to making a change.

Check out these beautiful/amazing/inspiring people here. Donate! Every little bit helps!

I could spend hours talking about every single one of them; I do wish that I could. But Mommy-hood is calling and Hav needs lovin' too. Thus, I will only have time to talk about one of these truely amazing people today.

Her name is Anuradha Koirala. She works to rehabilitate women and children who have been raped and abused; their innosence and child hoods stolen through the sex-trafficking industry.

Here's some information that I got from a website;

 Sex trafficking has become a multi-billion dollar business, and is the third most profitable business for organized crime, after drugs and arms dealing. Due to its very nature, the exact statistics of sex trafficking are extremely hard to estimate. Anywhere from 700,000 and 4 million women and children are trafficked for the purpose of sex and sexual exploitation every year.

Every thirty seconds, another person becomes a victim. Women are lured by traffickers with false promises of low-skilled jobs such as domestic help, models, and other jobs, and are then forced to work as prostitutes.

Traffickers tell the girls that they need to work off debts of thousands of dollars or more. They then are forced to sleep with upwards of twenty men a day at twenty dollars a piece. Out of this the women themselves earn only $3, which goes towards paying off their “debts.” Physical violence, rape, retention of legal documents, as well as the girls’ fear of deportation and corrupt police effectively enable traffickers to enslave these women.

The men these women are forced to sleep with don’t use condoms, affectively increasing the rate of STD’s, including AIDS, especially in countries where sleeping with a virgin is considered a cure for AIDS. If one of these girls happens to become pregnant, they are forced to undergo abortions, the price of which is then added onto their “debts”. The traffickers tell the girls that they have to pay for room, board, the amount it cost to get them into the country, and various other things.

They are denied basic medical care and are subjected to horrific human rights violations. The age of the average trafficking victim is becoming younger and younger. Girls as young as 7 are being trafficked for child prostitution. The average age of prostitutes being trafficked into certain Asian brothels is 14. In South America, children as young as 12 are being kidnapped off the streets and then trafficked into Mexico. In the United States, trafficking has started to become a large problem.

An estimated 14,500 and 17,500 women and children are trafficked into the United States each year, with New York, California, and Florida having the most cases. Since victims of trafficking usually don’t speak out for fear of retaliation, they are usually arrested for prostitution and then deported back to their home country, with no consequences to the traffickers or the brothel owners.

The leading causes of death among trafficked women are, in this order, homicide, suicide, drug and alcohol related problems, HIV infection and accidents. The homicide rate is 17% higher among victims of trafficking then the average.

Due to certain trafficking laws and legislation in some countries, human trafficking can be an extremely profitable business--with very low risks. According to INTERPOL, trafficking generated $19 billion annually.

The emotional and psychological impact of trafficked women is horrendous. Over half of trafficking victims have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). The severity of their PTSD symptoms are equivalent to those of treatment-seeking combat veterans and refugees from state organized torture.


This is a deppressing topic, I know. To be honest I think that a lot of people have a hard time actually talking about it. It's kind of like a... no touch zone. Nobody really wants to admit that something this terrible... this dark and twisty... is actually happening. But it is.

And it's a very real reality for the children and women who are forced into it. Can you imagine? I for one, cannot. I can't imagine it. I just can't. And I will not accept it.

In regards to her time in a brothel I watched one young girl, aged 13, 'matter-of-factly' say "I usually 'serviced' 25 - 30 men a day". For goodness sakes. She makes it sound like an auto shop and they came in for the routine oil change.

In closing I'd like to finish off with this quote:

"Just imagine what would happen if your daughter was standing there... What would you do? How would you fight? So you have to join hands. You have to take each child as your daughter."

- Anuradha Koirala

I don't have a daughter. I have a son. So I guess I cannot put myself into this specific scenario but I know that boys are involved in this industry as well. What if it was my baby? Even the thought of it starts pumping adrenaline into my veins. How would I fight? I would do anything. I would use every ounce of my energy to protect him and wouldn't stop untill I was dead.

I don't know what there is in hell but I'm sure that it's filled with twisted things like this.

There are foundations like the one that Anuradha has formed that you can donate to. There are other foundations as well like the Somaly Mam foundation. I can't very well travel across the world, though some day I hope to be able too, but these women can make a change but they need help financially.

Let's put an end to the Sex Trafficking of Women and children!

Sunday, November 21, 2010

"Mother. You must be kidding me."

Ahhhh,

Don't you adore days like today?

Oh my good heavens. Let me begin.

Woke up. Got Hav ready for Church. Left for Church and left Hav behind with Grandma so that I could go to choir. Went to choir. Got a phone call from Sara "Mom fell down the stairs, come home right away". Went home right away. Sat with my Mom and tried to keep her from falling unconsious (no fun at all). Called a friend to come help. Brad came. Brad took her to the Hospital. I left Haven with Sara so I could go to the Lethy Hospital. Realized half way into town that Haven needed food. No bottles. Called Jackie.

Got to the Lethy Hospital and asked for my Mom. My Mom wasn't in the system. Great. Jackie got Formula for Haven. So thankful! Jackie told me that Brad was home and he said that Mom was DEFINITELY at the Hospital. Snuck into the back emergency room and proceeded to snap at all of the nurses and Dr's in my most rude 'get things done' voice "WHERE IS MY MOTHER!"... "Mamn you are supposed to check in at the front desk"... "I was just there! I KNOW SHE IS HERE!!!".."Mamn she's just not in our system". Called Jackie again. Brad says Mom's at the Raymond Hospital. Snuck out of the emergency room the same way I snuck in (Jk nurses and Dr's idiot just happens to be my middle name).

Began the drive to Raymond. Got to the Raymond turn off. Gears on the stupid stick shift got stuck right on top of the train tracks. Great. Now I'm going to die. Screamed at the car in anger (will not repeat that part. inapropriate for the Sabath. whoops). Cried. Finally reafed on the stick shift hard enough to move it. Continued on my way to Raymond Hospital. Picked up my Momma!

Drove home. Got home. Laughed with my whole heart at the disgusted look Haven gave me whenever I tried to get him to finish his formula "Mother. You must be kidding me." He seemed to be saying. Apparantly babys don't enjoy change? Fed Haven :).


This is the face similar to the face I got when I got home and tried to feed him the rest of the formula lol!

Happy Haven after eating his real food :)

All in a days work.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

"I didn't know that Moms wore glasses!"

I usually start writing these things and think I don't have much at all to say. Then I start writing and most of the time something good comes out of it. I just tried looking up in my journal the specific date of something really important and I didn't record it so I can't figure out the date! Which is why I've resolved to write more often. Not that this is my journal; wouldn't that be a fun read. Not lol. Unless, of course, your an old man named Paul (no bitterness there AT all ;). Hey! If anyone wants to know anything about the private and personal journal of Megan Jolynn Sumbot let him know; I'm sure he'd love to share :)

Anyways. Back on topic.

I also feel like Becky Sparks is the only person who reads this blog and we've definitely been doing a lot of daily updates lately and so I'm just retelling my day. Poor Becky. Sorry friend, you'll just have to read it again.

What's new? Nearly nothing at all haha. I feel like I have done NOTHING all week long. I hate that feeling with a passion. It's been one of those 'dirty laundry everywhere, clutter everywhere, cookie dough eating' weeks so far. Lame.

I have so many announcements and thank you cards to get out that I've just given up trying to make another dent in the pack and keep procrastinating doing it. P.S this activity is also really hard to do with a little baby vying for every ounce of my attention. lol.

OH MY GOODNESS! HARRY POTTER! TWO DAYS!!!

Sorry just had to put that out there.

Had one million Dr's appointments yesterday. Went to see my surgeon Dr. Killem (ironic name right pahahha? Even funnier; his first name's sirrender). He says "Now Megan untill your surgery no more fried or fatty foods to subdue the attacks you've been having". .. I smile "Yes of course".

First stop after filling up Benny at GasKing: Tim Horton's. What did I order you ask? A Strawberry Vanilla Doughnut and a Vanilla Spice Hot smoothie. Please tell me how on earth Dr. Killem was expecting me to resist the temptation of Tim Horton's the day of the first snow before Christmas??? I sincerely do not know the answer to that question.

Have I mentioned that the first snow of the year/blizzards are some of my favorite days of the year? Well now you know. Also; Christmas is filled with magic and amazing things. I.LOVE.CHRISTMAS. This whole 'love of blizzards' thing has gotten me into trouble in the past though. Last year I took Ken out for a walk during one of the worst blizzards of the year. I walked down to the school which had snow piled five feet up the building. We walked through this field; or plowed through it more accurately haha. Poor Kenny almost drowned in snow. It was all the way up to my hips. When we finally decided to go home the wind and snow were blowing so bad in my face that I had to walk backwards and just hope that Kenny didn't make me walk into something hahaha. My Mom and T were driving home in her PT Cruiser that she was borrowing for the time being and I waved them over and made them drive Kenny and I the rest of the block home hahaha.

Ahhhh, good times.

One lame part of snow though: having to shovel it off your driveway. Momma, Kisser and I went out and did that tonight. It wasn't unbearable and was good for me to actually get my lazy momma bones moving but I know it's gunna hurt once the temperature drops! It's an awesome activity for when you're angry. Not that I was angry tonight; but ice picking some of that stuff off cement takes a whole lot of force lol.

Tomorrow - expecting a whole lot of sore shoulder ha.


Haven's first snow :)


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I got distracted lol! Today I drove down to the church and helped baby sit at the nursery. There ended up being TWENTY TWO kids; all cute as buttons (I've never understood that phrase. Buttons aren't cute Regardless. They were cute)! Thankfully, I wasn't the only one there to help. It went extremely well considering all the kids were five and under.

Nillson kids definitely win the prize for making me laugh the most. Little Sammy I think might be the cutest little boy of my entire life (plug your ears, Haven). We played this jumping game together and it entertained him for at least 20 minutes. He thought it was the greatest thing since sliced bread (another phrase I do NOT understand. In other words; he thought it was GREAT hahah). He laughed SO hard; that deep belly laugh that only little kids can master perfectly, ya know.. the one that warms up your heart. Which made me laugh right along with him.

Then his sister, Ana came and sat with me during 'Oliver & Company'. She asked if she could hold Hav and so I said of course and I helped her hold him; she assured me that she was more than capable as she used to hold 'little Sammy' all the time; so cute haha. She then asked me if I knew Haven 'cause he seemed to really like me. I told her that yes, I did and that he's my baby. She looked up at me with the most confused look on her face and said:

"Really??? I didn't know that Mom's wore glasses!"

I laughed so. hard.



Is there anything better than little kidlets? I think not.


PS Miranda got Haven this super cute 'Ralph Lauren' onsie and I was SO excited for the day that he could wear it (it was 6 to 12 monthes) and he already fits into it! So when we went into town the other day I got to dress him up in it. Ahhhhh he's the most handsome critter you could ever imagine! Plus his smile is amazing :) Love him.



Angry Ralph Lauren baby

Happy Ralph Lauren baby :)

Haven is already sitting up (with assistance lol). He's been doing this side-ways smiling thing lately haha. It's like he's being shy; so cute!
PPS Goodnight blogging world; I'm so tired.

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Today

This is going to be a pretty random blog but I figure I may as well get it out of the way before I completely forget anyways.

Hav and I just got back from visiting Regina, Saskatchewan with my Mom and sister, Sara. We had a good time! It was so good to see my Mom's side of the family. It's always wonderful to come out of visiting relatives without something dramatic or traumatic occurring hahaha; so I'm feeling pretty blessed for my Momma's fam right about now. I truely do love them.

Also! Haven experienced his very first snow :)... there's almost nothing more beautiful than a crispy white morning with frosty trees and sparkling snow everywhere.

Back to the fam...

My Grandma is still positive that she is a queen; typical :). I do love her for it. We sat down together while Mom and Sara went shopping and Hav napped. We just talked. It was nice to listen to her stories of past family members and her past experiences.

My Auntie Mickey and Uncle Gary are still just as humble, down to earth and wonderful as ever. We all went out for brunch at the farm and had giant stacks of pancakes smother in lemon sauce and brown sugar - can you possibly imagine anything more delicious?... I think not.

Brunch at the Farm
My Uncle Greg and Auntie Darlene are good too. Auntie Darlene made a stupendously delicious meal for us at Grandma's place; french bread and pasta casserole.. mm, mm good :) Earlier in the day we had a good visit with Uncle Greg and Auntie Darlene.

My cousins are both happy with two lovely ladies in their lives. David's little girl Eliza is gorgeous and Kinda is such a wonderful new Mommy! Sara and I had such a good time talking and laughing with Erika, John's girlfriend :). Sara and I definitely approve haha!

Cousin John ang his Girlfriend, Erika

I can't help but notice how much everyone has grown in the age department though. Life is going by much too fast. I also noticed on the drive home (much screaming included; joy) that Haven got his first tooth just trying to poke through his gums. What is going on?! I have a 2 month old baby who's already teething?!

I just feel like I need to document every moment and stash it away in a special library of memories in my mind. Time is slipping by every second.

I remember being a kid and always being so excited for the day when I became a teenager. Then that day came and I was always focussed on being somewhere opposite of where I was at the moment; with people opposite of who I was with. Now, looking back... I miss some of those times. I wish I could go back and cherish them in the ways that they deserve to be cherished.

I wish I could remember every time I laughed so hard I cried along with a younger or older sister; a best friend. I wish I could relive those girl's camps; when going back the second time, remembering how wonderful that time in my life really was - I truely took it for granted. I wish I could remember our family vacations a little better; remember the smiles on my sister's faces.

There is a lot that I wish I could go back and change. But doing that too much winds me with not living in the present all over again!

So I guess the best thing to do, rather than regretting what I cannot change, is too live right now; live in this very special moment. As I'm typing this Haven is fast asleep, wrapped up in his favorite yellow blankie. He's beautiful. I can hear my Mom reading Kesaia a story book for bed and in about 45 minutes Tamera will be home :).

Today is a beautiful day. The present is beautiful.

I love this quote I found one day and think it goes along well with this blog:


"Two Days We Should Not Worry"

There are two days in every week about which we should not worry,
Two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

One of these days is Yesterday, with all its mistakes and cares,
Its faults and blunders, its aches and pains.
Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control.
All the money in the world cannot bring back Yesterday.
We cannot undo a single act we performed;
We cannot erase a single word we said.
Yesterday is gone forever.

The other day we should not worry about is Tomorrow
With all its possible adversities, its burdens,
Its large promise and its poor performance;
Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.
Tomorrow's sun will rise,
Either in splendor or behind a mask of clouds, but it will rise.
Until it does, we have no stake in Tomorrow,
For it is yet to be born.

This leaves only one day, Today.
Any person can fight the battle of just one day
It is when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities
Yesterday and Tomorrow that we break down.
It is not the experience of Today that drives a person mad,
It is the remorse and bitterness of something which happened Yesterday
And the dread of what Tomorrow may bring.
Let us, therefore, live but one day at a time.
Roadies :)

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Hav

Start time <3

Well... I have probably one million journals as it is; why not add one more and conform to the practise of blogging.

What's new in my life? I have a beautiful baby boy named Haven born on August 25, 2010. I remember going on facebook and being so irritated about the constant updates by new mothers of their new 'bundles of joy'. They say that the moment of realizing motherhood for the first time changes you forever. I didn't really understand it untill a quiet November moment in a nursery, with my hand on my tummy when the thought suddenly and out of no where, presented itself in my mind for the first time.... "you're going to be a mom". Life has never been the same.

I now understand those incessant, irritating new mothers. Lets be real... I AM one of those mothers!

He's just too amazing.