Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Five hundred, Twenty-five thousand, Six hundred minutes

How do you measure, measure a year?

In day light

A beautiful sunny summer day <3

In sunsets

The sunrise the day before Haven was born :)

In midnights

In cups of coffee

It wasn't coffee... but I had to drink a whole lotta cups of water to come to believe the results of these puppies haha
 In inches

I definitely made the allotted 40 inches hahaha

8.13 and 19 3/4 inches long; minutes after his arrival :)

 In miles

Walking; miles and miles of walking
In laughter

My Chopstix family on my lasr day of work

and strife

Weston's Funeral </3

One year ago today I was laying on the cold floor of a Hospital room. My heart was a little bit shattered - It definitely wasn't the best night; not one bit.
I remember thinking that I could never possibly mend from so much sadness!
It was a terribly sad night.

But here I am... one year later... and happier than I've ever been in my life.
I learned from my experiences. I learned the importance of taking responsability for your own choices or mistakes... and also that no one can make you do anything; that if you choose to be a victim... well... simply put, you will be a victim.

All in all I made it through the year; I did mend; and I guess that's the point I'm writing this blog to express. Sometimes you just don't think that you're going to make it. And of course I still feel pain and mourn over that sad day... but it doesn't reach its boogey man fingers into every area of my life like it once did.

So much happens in a year. Time sometimes gives you the opportunity to laugh. Time brings about sad things too, like the death of my friend Weston. Time doesn't heal all wounds completely; I don't believe in that. But time helps you to come to terms with things. Time gives you time to learn and grow, inch by inch, stronger so that when you feel that pain, you understand a little better how to cope in the face of it.

And in the end...

time gives you time to realize over and over again how very beautiful life really is. 

Sometimes remembering that life is beautiful was my saving grace. I considered giving up on that belief a year ago; considered numbering myself among the lifeless, miserable human beings who have given up on the joy of life... but I found strength from a higher power and continued on in my belief that life really doesn't suck.

And now here I am, one year later, and time has given me the time to realize life's beauty all over again. 

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Not enough time

The title that I made for this post last night is 'Not enough time' and it is so truely fitting. I've been trying to do some other journaling and get that done. My laundry is (once again) turning into an ugly monster and climbing up the wall. Nothing is organized in my room. I just finished baking 6 dozen cookies for a Christmas party cookie exchange. And my poor little Haven has hardly had five seconds of my time besides when I was bathing him, changing him or feeding him.

Over whelmed, I am.

I do have quiet moments - I can't lie. But they mostly consist of laying with Haven because he refuses to sleep by himself.

He's gotten himself into this schedule lately. It's food time around 11 or 12. Then if the lights don't go out and I'm not laying down with him after he falls asleep nursing - he fusses for the rest of the night (leaving me a very frustrated Momma). He's very particular.

Oh well. He forces me to go to bed at a decent hour.

I'm going to a Blandin/Sumbot Christmas party tomorrow. We leave tomorrow at 10. BTW if I have to make that stupid Calgary trip one more time... I'm going to rip my hair out. JK I love my hair... but really. Five times in one month? We need cheaper transportation methods so we don't always have to drive there to pick people up.

Kesaia had her birthday party today. It was great.... (if you could hear my voice you would note the sarcasm).

It was NUTS. Eventually I just ran off to my Momma's room to hide in peace, away from all of those screaming children. But... I'm glad Kiss had a wonderful party :)

Anywho. I need to get back to my other journaling and so here is a few pics of the week.

A mad Hav after scratching his wittle face :(
A much happier Hav after Momma put his no scratch gloves back on... mmmm they taste good too :)

Oh look, I'm driving to Calgary

Ahahhahahah- Haven's fightin' face

Recyleable bags are great for lots of things;
1. Carrying groceries
2. Carrying baby blankets, travel stuff, soothers etc.
3. Carrying fat babies

One of those quiet moments :)

Oh look! We're driving to Calgary AGAIN!

This ol' guy needed to be picked up :)

I was on the phone and I couldn't talk to him and keep him entertained.
Haven thought this handsome new friend he found on top of Momma's dresser would work for a while. They had a pretty exciting conversation :)

A Birthday party, balloons, tons of unnecesary candy, cake and crafts.
Don't ya love 'em???