Monday, February 28, 2011


i stole this from a friends blog a while ago. it became my new 'song' that i listened to when i was sad.

i listened to it this morning and no song has ever meant more to me than this one did in that moment. every word sunk into my soul.

i curled up in my bed and i cried and cried.

my heart is broken.

sorry for the sadness.

oh great God

be small enough

to hear me now

there were times when I was crying
from the dark of daniel's den
and I have asked you once or twice
if you would part the sea again

but tonight I do not need a
fiery pillar in the sky
just want to know you're gonna hold me

if i start to cry

oh great God
be small enough to hear me now

oh great God

be close enough to feel you now
(oh great God be close to me)

there have been moments when I could not face
goliath on my own

and how could I forget we've
marched around our share of jericho's

but i will not be setting out a fleece
for you tonight

just want to know that everything
will be alright

oh great God
be close enough to feel you now

all praise and all the honor be
to the God of ancient mysteries
whose every sight and wonder
turn the pages of our history

but tonight my heart is heavy
and I cannot keep from
whispering this prayer

are you there?

and I know you could leave writing on
the wall thats just for me

or send wisdom while I'm sleeping
like in solomon's sweet dreams

but i don't need the strength of samson
or a chariot in the air

just want to know that you still know
how many hairs are on my head

oh great God
(are you small enough?)

be small enough to hear me now

Saturday, February 26, 2011

"Is there something on my face?"

I was walking through the mall pushing Haven in his stroller when a woman with her husband and three children, out of nowhere, smiled at me. It wasn't a 'avoid eye contact' and smile in my direction smile, it was a full 'stare you straight into the eyes', bright-eyed smile; the kind that makes you think they know something you don't.

She had black hair and though she wasn't wearing any make up, she had a light about her. She was beautiful.

After I got over the surprise of her directness, I smiled back. I kept walking for a few steps and then glanced back to find that she had turned mid step and was continuing in her bright smile; still starring me straight in the eyes. I smiled again and kept walking.

I found my Mom in the store across the way and asked her:

"Is there something on my face?"

She said no and I told her what had happened. Then as I was walking away I thought to myself...'How sad is it that when someone smiles at me, I assume there is something on my face?'

There are millions of people in the world; millions of possible friendships. Yet we close off and kind of 'stick' in our own little island. We can learn so much from each other! All we have to do is leave that comfort zone for a few seconds and 9 times out of 10 you will have an amazing and positive response.

(had i not left my comfort zone too become friends with this girl my life would be different, i would be different; i love her <3)

And on a lesser level, we can brighten someones day SO much, simply by spreading a little love. Flash a smile here and there. Life is good when you remember your blessings; it'll shine, it'll show.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Magnificent <3

Let's take a little breather from natural highs for a small moment.

Hoooo heeeee; deep cleansing breath (lol... my maternity and labor class instructor said that a lot).

This one's for the soul who's struggling through a heart ache, sorrow or frustration.

"No matter where you are, no matter how difficult things might appear to be, you are always being moved toward magnificence. Always."

<'s some girls that I think are magnificent <3...>

Let's all remember how amazing this life we live is. Everything that happens in it can make us stronger; maybe not physically - but surely emotionally.

You. are. magnificent.

There is no stopping someone who understands her or his real worth.

Don't let anyone or anything tell you any different.

Embrace it all; the good, the bad and the beautiful - because if you let it, it will teach you - it will being you closer to something 'magnificent'.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Natural Highs; Numb burrrrr 3 :)

sorry. no pics that have anything to do with the description of this blog hahaha.

A hot shower!

This is a hot topic. hahah. no pun intended ;) i kill myself ha...ha.

One of the reasons that I was so drawn to blogging about all of these topics was that they were all so random, but somehow all of the little points ment something unordinary and extraordinary to me.


First of all, I live in Canada and even more incredible than that, I grew up in Northern British Columbia; br, br, br. So obviously I love hot showers for the simple reason that they warm up my cold bones when I have to suffer through these long, cold, winters (that i totaly adore; don't get me wrong).

This is how I feel about the first snow of the winter.
i love it more than life

A thanks giving snow man! pretty sad looking, but this is a winter in Southern Alberta, not Northern British Columbia.

its the most wonderful time of the year

I have to be honest for a second; growing up, I was the biggest tom boy. I didn't brush my hair, I never wanted to shower, I spent all of my time with my horses or my animals at home - no, I did not even like brushing my teeth.

tom-boy buddies <3

Then one day my parents had enough of my 'tom-boyness' and got on my back about acting more like a girl hahaha - showering EVERY DAY being one of those things. I can't believe i was such a grub hahahha.

I grew to love showers. haha.

I like being alone; I am a girl who is most definitely not fearful of solitude. And lemme tell ya: growing up in a house with 4 sisters, the occasional niece or nephew, birds of many different types - ducks, chickens (yes, we had chickens living in our house), love birds -, dogs, cats, and a really loud Dad - well let's just say there wasn't much solitude to be had (I don't mention my Mom because she's pretty chill and generally quite quiet; unless you get her angry that is, which takes a longgggg time and is really a whole other story hahahah).

this picture does 'a moment in the Sumbot family' a lot and a lot of justice hahaha

I loved going for runs late at night and I found special places where I could have a few moments of peace - where I could be alone when I needed to be.

But, when winter hit (and it did... every.single.year) I would sometimes become a little stir crazy. Going for a run in minus 40 wheather isn't fun for anyone - not my lungs that burned or my toes and fingers that quickley turned black -. So... what would I do to find my solitude, you ask? If the topic hasn't already gave it away... I would jump into the shower.

I sang in the shower - more like screamed songs at the top of my lungs - which on one occasion my sisters actually video taped hahaha,

I cried in the shower - sometimes you just need to have a good cry; no one can hear you and the tears just wash away - highly reccomended by me (this one comes with a warning though! sometimes you need a shoulder to cry on - recognise when you need that, because there's nothing wrong with needing someone) ,

I think in the shower - some of my life's biggest desicions have been made in the shower! -

I thought I was going to die in the shower when I had my first awful and undescribably painful contraction while in labor with Haven,

:(... ooooo it was worth it though... very worth it <3

I even sometimes pray in the shower.

I became comfortable in my own skin in the shower - I considered not writing about this one 'cause it's kind of wierd to write about but I think it's important - I don't have the 'perfect figure', my tummy is scarred with stretch marks galore and the occasional insicion mark, my legs are abnormally proportioned with the rest of my body (I could go on and on); but I love me and I don't cringe anymore when I look in the mirror. I don't need a magazine or movie to define my beauty - I define myself, and the description of the definition of 'me' surely doesn't only include the way my body looks. I believe our bodies are gifts and we should treat them that way; if I gave someone a gift, one of the most important things they could have, it would break my heart if they didn't understand it's worth. But... I guess I'm spending a lot of time on this one thing and teetering into an entirely different and individual future blog entry - I'll leave it at that;
'I'm comfortable in my own skin' :) 


hot showers

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Natural Highs::: Number 2!

Laughing so hard your face hurts?

Ahhhh this is a good topic to speak about.

I have had so many of these moments but there is one girl who, when memories were had with her, I really rarely remember a moment when we were not laughing so hard our faces hurt.

She is just one of those characters who laughs at everything - yes, sometimes at things that probably shouldn't be laughed about (but everyone needs a little more of that I think).

Aubreyyyyy Fritz is her name :) middle name Elizabeth. And I do love her; I really do. We haven't talked in ages, but I still think of her often.

I'll have to narrow it down to two memories.

One was had in Grande Prarie, Alberta. We were at a friends house getting ready for a dance. We were waiting for some other friends to show up and we were getting more and more bored as the clock slowly tick-tocked. Sooooo we decided to have a dance party right then and there. We turned on 'Here in your arms' by HelloGoodbye as loud as it would go and we danced and danced and danced, like the two crazy fools we were (this is saying something about Aubrey Fritz because if you know me, you know I hate to dance.... but I LOVE to dance with Aubrey Fritz). At one point I swung back my head and in doing so whatever candy I had in my mouth choked me. I almost died. But it was the funniest thing. ever. and we laughed for so, so long.

How sad is it that I no longer have pictures of us together anymore? Sooooo I decided to be a creep and steal this off her fb :).. lovve you babe <3

Another occasion; dancing again (this girl just makes me want to dance!).

We were in Vancouver at the ferry station and had just finished a concert. It was late at night and there was no one else there. So we decided to reinact our 'Here in your arms' dancing sesh that we'd had in Grande Prarie and jumped up onto a giant table and danced and danced - this time we didn't even have the music, we just screamed the whole thing at the top of our lungs - . We got so carried away that we didn't realize some old lady had walked up and was watching us. She looked at us like the lunatics we were being and then hurried off as if she was scared of us or something.

We laughed untill our faces hurt.

Ahhhhhh I love you Ms. Fritz, I truly do.