'Whistle while you work' seemed quite fitting for my current state of afairs lately. This time last year I had a big belly and was just getting ready to go on my maternity leave. At nine months pregnant a day of work seemed like an eternity. My feet were sore and swollen. My back ached and my ribs felt like they would soon snap right in half. I had an extremly sick pregnancy for the first five or six months and so getting up and going to work some days was terribly difficult. I had two jobs and knew that if I stopped working, my benefits would go down and I wouldn't be able to gain an education along with supporting myself and Haven.
So. With my sweet baby boy as a constant reminder (he would very litterally remind me with his giant kicks), working is what I did.
|One of my last days before taking off for maternity leave|
Now, a year later, I am working again. The trials of working are much different than they were a year ago. I've found it extremely difficult not being able to spend as much time with Haven. I feel a huge amount of guilt being away from him. I work at a time so that I'm only away from him for a couple hours that he's actually awake. Then I come home and study for as long as I can. Then I wake up bright and early with Hav and we begin the day all over again.
Sometimes I feel as if I'm being spread like too little butter on a piece of toast; there's not enough of me to go around. In the moments when I feel exasperated and overwhelmed I say a prayer - and some may find this corny but it always helps me face the hard moments. I'm so grateful for a Savior who makes up the difference.
Days off are like a slice of heaven. I appreciate moments of rest so much more. I soak up every second with Haven.
|a day off on canada day :)|
I work so that he can have every opportunity that he deserves in life. It's going to be a really special day when I finish my schooling; there's no one else that I would rather be standing beside than my sweet Haven.
I do know that all of the sweat and tears will be worth it in the end.