Saturday, November 19, 2011

peanut butter and sticky kisses

I've made some big life choices lately.
Ones that I don't think a lot of people in my life will  agree with. But, I made them anyways. I made them because I felt that it was best for my baby boy.

I spoke with one of my closest friends the other day to explain to her my choices.
I feel really guilty for saying this, but I was so nervous to tell her what I had decided.
I could hear the disapointment in her voice at first. The choice that I've made is going to prevent me from living close to her and I know that's why she was sad.
As I explained to her the reasons that I had made the decision that I did, she told me that she was proud of me.
She reassured me and read me a quote:

 “I don't want to drive up to the pearly gates in a shiny sports car, wearing beautifully, tailored clothes, my hair expertly coiffed, and with long, perfectly manicured fingernails.
I want to drive up in a station wagon that has mud on the wheels from taking kids to scout camp.
I want to be there with a smudge of peanut butter on my shirt from making sandwiches for a sick neighbors children.
I want to be there with a little dirt under my fingernails from helping to weed someone's garden.
I want to be there with children's sticky kisses on my cheeks and the tears of a friend on my shoulder.
I want the Lord to know I was really here and that I really lived.”
 
- Marjorie Pay Hinckley

There are so many distractions to be had every single day. Sometimes I feel as if the world is screaming at me:

"Lose weight. You're not skinny enough."
"Money buys happiness."
"It's only a sleeve,  or a little cleavage, or a little too short, etc; it really doesn't make a difference."

When it comes down to it, I know that I can't bring money up to heaven. I will feel completely ridiculous for investing so much time in all of the things that I cannot take to heaven.

I want Heavenly Father to know that I've really lived here.
I want Him to know that He was right in trusting me with one of His precious children from above; that I value my divine Motherhood. 

I am of infinite worth with my own divine mission, which I will strive to fulfill.

I want Him to know that I've really experienced life.
I want Him to see that I made my Savior's sacrifice for me worth it.
I want Him to see that I tried my hardest to be His hands and lift others up.

So when it comes down to it I know that the make up isn't going to mean anything.
The hours of thought put into dieting or excercising (for reasons besides health) aren't going to mean anything.
My clothes aren't going to mean anything.

So
I hope that I have peanut butter on my shirt when I get to heaven.
I hope that my shoulder is wet with the tears from those who have cried upon it.
I hope that I will have those sticky kisses all over my cheeks.


No comments:

Post a Comment