Saturday, January 28, 2012

we're the kissing kind

I'm getting bored of these monotonous 25 posts being the same every month. So this month I'm writing in the form of a letter to my boy :)


Dear Haven,

This month has been a busy one. We've had a lot of birthdays and a lot of family time. That's the best kind of time... don't forget it :)

Here's some things that have happened over the past month:

You puckered up and gave me kisses when I was leaving the house for a date :)
I didn't even know that you knew how to pucker up for kisses; I asked you for a kiss and you responded with this.
And it warmed my heart.

Your Auntie Michelle bought you boots this Christmas from Baby Gap :)
I'm pretty sure that you will be a model one day.

You gave me some more kisses :)

Your cousin almost caught up to you in height. You thought it was pretty funny.

You have the warmest little heart :) You tried to make friends with Joshy... He didn't really like that idea.

And then I gave you some kisses <3

Then we cheered on the flames with Grandpa :) maybe one day you'll be a little hockey star.

Then Hunter helped me situate some makeshift jammies for you for bed time because you're growing far too fast for me to keep up with well-fitting pajamas. Could you please slow down? Thanks.

You've been wanting to be independent lately. Which has led me to a new discovery about you: much to my delight, there is a chance that you are left handed :)

We laughed together a lot this month.

And then we gave each other kisses :) - we're a kissin' kind of family.

We snuggled on your 17 month birthday. And I enjoyed every second of it.

You helped Grandma and I clean the house. You actually did a good job. You'd better be careful or I'll assign you as the official vacuum cleaner boy.

We bundled up for the -30 weather which was soooo much fun to trudge through.

You worked out with your Auntie Sara :)

We had a wonderful Christmas with all your Aunties, Uncles and cousins, and Grandma and Grandpa.

And, last but not least, you smiled so big that I thought my heart would break with joy and love.

You are wonderful, Haven. You teach me something new everyday. I love you so much, that no matter what you do, it will never change.

Don't you dare forget it.


- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

right on time

It's true. It is currently 12:09 am, and far past my bedtime. I have classes in the morning at an hour that is far too early to even admit. And I'll probably pay in the morning - more like definitely actually. But it's my birthday. and I just love writing. It makes my heart feel happy.

So... instead of cracking open the old books and studying for an hour... I'm just going to lay here, all snuggled up in my 6 blankets (yes, i sleep with 6 blankets), my puppy dog on my feet, and write to my heart's content.

I like writing on my birthday - I like taking a moment to sit back and think about what I've learned.

I'm thinking back all the way to my birthday last year... and I most certainly wasn't in an awful place at the time... but looking back and seeing where I was then, reminds me of how much I have grown; it reminds me of where I have come from. And, I mean this in all humility, I've definitely come a long way.

What have I learned this year? This sums it up pretty wonderfully:

Ladies and Gentlemen. This is what I have learned this year.

Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places.

Right now, I am exactly. where. i should be. Because right now is right on time. (i'm 21 btw :)

I've made some mistakes - my goodness, have I ever. I've tried to walk down paths that weren't right for me; paths that I knew my Heavenly Father did not want me to walk down. But, in my silly human tendancies to do what I think is best, I ignored Him.

But then I found my way back. And that's what I want to talk about right now. Because I got lost, and I disregarded what I knew was best...

I have realized that I wouldn't be the person that I am today had it not been for my trials.

I'm grateful for the heart breaks that have made me who I am today.

I'm especially grateful for this song because it sums up exactly how I feel about my life right now:

I had it all mapped out in front of me,
Knew just where I wanted to go;
But life decided to change my plans,
And I found a mountain in the middle of my road.

I knew there was no way over it,
So I searched for a way around;
Brokenhearted I started climbin',
And at the top I found...

Every fear, every doubt,
All the pain I went through;
Was the price that I paid to see this view;
And now that I'm here I would never trade...

The grace that I feel,
And the faith that I find;
Through the bitter-sweet tears,
And the sleepless nights;

I used to pray he'd take it all away,
But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.
I never dreamed my heart would make it,
I thought about turning around;
But heaven has shown me miracles,
I never would have seen from the ground.

Now I take the rain with the sunshine,
Cause there's one thing that I know;
He picks up the pieces,
Along each broken road.

Every fear, every doubt,
All the pain I went through;
Was the price that I paid to see this view;
And now that I'm here I would never trade...

The grace that I feel,
And the faith that I find;
Through the bitter-sweet tears,
And the sleepless nights.

I used to pray he'd take it all away,
But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.

I would never trade...

The grace that I feel,
And the faith that I find;
Through the bitter-sweet tears,
And the sleepless nights.

I used to pray he'd take it all away,
But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.

- Beautiful Heart break
Hillary Weeks

Monday, January 9, 2012

dear julie; babies don't keep

A special little lady in my life just found out that she was expecting shortly before Christmas. Could I express my excitement for her in words? Probably not. But that might tell you a little bit about how overjoyed I am for her. She is wonderful. Her husband is wonderful. And together they're going to make a wonderful little baby (I vote, girl... and I've never been wrong thus far lol).

The other day I was talking to her and she asked me if I could give her some advice on Motherhood. So. this post is dedicated to my beautiful friend, Julie Tippie :)... (let's see if i can manage to get through this without crying. ha. probably not.)

This is such a broad topic. Where do I start? Well. I've gotta start somewhere. So lets start with:

Dear Julie,

Babies don't keep. Families are forever - that's a wonderful thing. But in the eternities, your babies won't be babies anymore - they'll be big kids with their own eternal companions. This is the only time in your life that you'll get to see them as babies, toddlers, kids and teenagers. Cherish it. Cherish it all;
the sticky fingers,
the slobbery kisses,
the 'getting into absolutely everything that they shouldn't be getting into'.
Even cherish the moments at 4 am when you feel like you might die of tiredness while you are trying to soothe a sobbing baby.

Learn to laugh when you walk into the kitchen and there is a bag of flour dumped on the floor - in fact, in might be wise to just jump right on in there for a good flour fight. Those are the memories that will mean something... those are the memories that will be cherished.

I guess that doesn't mean that you don't have to dicipline your baby (maybe you could leave that job to dad ;). Remember that you're a Mom before everything else - even a best friend. You might not get to be your baby's best friend until they grow up. Sometimes you'll have to take things away and sometimes you'll have to make rules that little baby won't like so much. Maybe they will even say that they don't 'like you' anymore because of it. Remember that in the long run, they'll be thankful you set them boundaries.

Lots of people will tell you their opinions on lots of different things: how to put baby to sleep, what to feed baby, how to feed baby, what car seat to buy, what blankets to use, when to potty train, when NOT to potty train, to spank or not to spank, to let cry or not to let cry, to co sleep or not to co sleep, to use time out or to not use time out.

All of these opinions are wonderful and people are giving them to you because they honestly care. Decide what works for you, and discard the rest. That doesn't mean you have to be rude - always accept opinions graciously and with a smile. But don't stress over the small things. It's likely that your baby will not be mentally impaired based on whether or not you fed them green grapes or red grapes. You are the Momma. And you are a wonderful Momma at that. This is your baby. And you are entitled to knowing what your baby's needs are - that's your Momma inspiration and no one elses. Try not to internalize too many crazy opinions. Decide what works for you and block out the rest.

Don't ever forget to take some 'mommy time'. In order for you to be the best mom that you can be, you need to work on yourself too. Find something that you love to do - whether it's running or painting or singing or dancing or reading - and do it every day. You will be a better mom for it.

Make sure to take time out for mr. tippie :) he needs love too. Sometimes mama's get so caught up in their little babies that they forget about daddy dearest (i wouldn't know from personal experience but i'm sure it happens hahaha). Work on your relationship... go on dates... write him love letters... go to the temple together. Little baby might cry when you leave them with a baby sitter (you've got a friend named 'megan' who's alright with babies - AND free of charge ;)... remember when you hear those little cries that your baby is not going to grow up to be a crazy person just because you left them for a night on a date. Relax. Enjoy your husband. Love your husband.

Last but not least... when your whole little body is achy and tired... and you're sitting in a chaotic room amongst a screaming inconsolable baby... and you think to yourself:

"What. the (insert word of choice here) am I doing? How on earth can I measure up to this task? Am I even making any difference at all?"

I want you to remember this: you are making a difference. You are making a bigger difference than anything you could ever think of imagining right now. One day I'm sure that all of us Momma's will realize just how much of a difference we made... and it will be an overwhelming thing. Imagine your greatest 'worldly dream'... mine would probably be becoming a concert pianist or something of the sort; something that you feel would bring you recognition from the world. Whatever feelings of recognition that you will feel from accomplishing your greatest 'worldly dream' will pale in comparison to the sense of accomplishment you will feel from Motherhood. I can promise you that.

It's ok to make mistakes. That's what we're here to do. Don't beat yourself up and tear yourself down. Remember Who's work you're doing. You're a wonderful Momma, ms. julie (hav and i have come to this conclusion from his time at day care ;). And I love you for it.