Tuesday, January 24, 2012

right on time

It's true. It is currently 12:09 am, and far past my bedtime. I have classes in the morning at an hour that is far too early to even admit. And I'll probably pay in the morning - more like definitely actually. But it's my birthday. and I just love writing. It makes my heart feel happy.

So... instead of cracking open the old books and studying for an hour... I'm just going to lay here, all snuggled up in my 6 blankets (yes, i sleep with 6 blankets), my puppy dog on my feet, and write to my heart's content.

I like writing on my birthday - I like taking a moment to sit back and think about what I've learned.

I'm thinking back all the way to my birthday last year... and I most certainly wasn't in an awful place at the time... but looking back and seeing where I was then, reminds me of how much I have grown; it reminds me of where I have come from. And, I mean this in all humility, I've definitely come a long way.

What have I learned this year? This sums it up pretty wonderfully:



Ladies and Gentlemen. This is what I have learned this year.

Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places.

Right now, I am exactly. where. i should be. Because right now is right on time. (i'm 21 btw :)

I've made some mistakes - my goodness, have I ever. I've tried to walk down paths that weren't right for me; paths that I knew my Heavenly Father did not want me to walk down. But, in my silly human tendancies to do what I think is best, I ignored Him.

But then I found my way back. And that's what I want to talk about right now. Because I got lost, and I disregarded what I knew was best...

I have realized that I wouldn't be the person that I am today had it not been for my trials.

I'm grateful for the heart breaks that have made me who I am today.

I'm especially grateful for this song because it sums up exactly how I feel about my life right now:


I had it all mapped out in front of me,
Knew just where I wanted to go;
But life decided to change my plans,
And I found a mountain in the middle of my road.

I knew there was no way over it,
So I searched for a way around;
Brokenhearted I started climbin',
And at the top I found...

Every fear, every doubt,
All the pain I went through;
Was the price that I paid to see this view;
And now that I'm here I would never trade...

The grace that I feel,
And the faith that I find;
Through the bitter-sweet tears,
And the sleepless nights;

I used to pray he'd take it all away,
But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.
I never dreamed my heart would make it,
I thought about turning around;
But heaven has shown me miracles,
I never would have seen from the ground.

Now I take the rain with the sunshine,
Cause there's one thing that I know;
He picks up the pieces,
Along each broken road.

Every fear, every doubt,
All the pain I went through;
Was the price that I paid to see this view;
And now that I'm here I would never trade...

The grace that I feel,
And the faith that I find;
Through the bitter-sweet tears,
And the sleepless nights.

I used to pray he'd take it all away,
But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.

I would never trade...

The grace that I feel,
And the faith that I find;
Through the bitter-sweet tears,
And the sleepless nights.

I used to pray he'd take it all away,
But instead it became a beautiful heartbreak.

- Beautiful Heart break
Hillary Weeks


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