it can be properly described by two little words:
I was watching a tv show the other day; one of those 'make over/plastic surgery/weight loss' shows. The woman being 'remodeled' was in her 50's. Before the said 'remodeling' she had a heavier build and clearly was not the coveted size 0 that every woman dreams of being. She had wrinkles and lines. Her skin was saggy in some spots.
I thought that she was beautiful, though and I didn't see anything wrong with her.
She, on the other hand, saw plenty that was 'wrong with her'. She hated her build. She hated her saggy arms. She hated the wrinkles covering her body and the lines across her face. She hated her stretch marks. She hated the way her belly fat sometimes peeked over the top of her jeans. She hated that she was 50. And she was ready for change.
The episode took us through all of her surgeries, all of her weight loss, all of her accesorizing - all of her obsessing. Then it came time for the big revelation of the new you that she had become.
There was a large crowd of people waiting to greet her. The camera focused in on one of her daughters as her 'remodelded' mother walked down the steps. The interviewer asked the daughter how she felt about her Mom's new appearance. Her response was what caught me:
"My Mom can finally be happy now. Look at her. Look how beautiful she looks - she's lost so much weight and she has no more wrinkles! She is confident now. Just look how happy she is."
As soon as she said it, I felt sad for her; sad that she has no idea what true beauty is or where true happiness comes from.
I'm reminded time and time again that real happiness comes from relationships; real happiness comes from loving those around us unconditionally; real happiness comes from knowing, and not being afraid of admiting, that you are important, capable and wonderful.
A few months ago I was playing with Haven. It was right around when he was learning how to give kisses. I caught a picture of us right as he was planting a great big smacker on my nose.
The picture caught the joy in between us. He was so happy to be kissing my nose and I was so happy to be recieving a kiss on my nose.
I looked a little closer at the picture and realized something. And please don't judge me 'cause this is kind of embarrasing. Just because I'm preachin' this self-worth doesn't mean that I don't struggle with it too - I do and I have my entire life. And this is definitely one of those instances.
I realized when I looked at the photo that I had, what looked like to me, a double chin. I honestly considered deleting the photo. Yup. This perfect, beautiful, joyful photo that I had with my son; almost deleted.
And then I caught myself as I realized that I was down grading a beautiful moment with my son because of my fear of having a bad physical image.
I asked myself... what will be most important to me in 50 years?
I highly doubt that it will be a layer of fat on my chin.
It will probably be the love between me and my son.
Ladies (gentlemen too actually, because you need to help the ladies out),
Let's not be so hard on ourselves.
Let's not skip meals or obsess over diets or beat up our bodies in the pursuit of a happiness that is so very fleeting.
Let's embrace our age, no matter what it is.
Let's teach our daughters that image means little in the whole scheme of things.
Let's teach our sons to look upon women as the daughters of God that they are and not as objects to be used and abused.
Let's look in the mirror every morning and think to ourselves: "you are. beautiful. on the outside, and more importantly, on the inside."
Real, deep, down self-worth doesn't come through appearances.
It comes through love.
It comes through service.
It comes through gratitude.
Real, deep, down self-worth means recognising other's beauty and talents,
but never coveting their beauty and talents.
Why not covet them?
Well, let me tell you:
because you know, deep, down that you
- yes, you -
you are capable,
you are wonderful