Saturday, August 25, 2012

25: the best two years

when i was a little girl, i had always wanted to serve a mission - i wanted to travel off to some foreign country and teach the people all about eternal families and the Atonement of Jesus Christ. it was definitely in the books amd i planned for it! and then other plans entered the mix and i abandoned that wish for other wishes. sometimes i kind of regretted abandoning that wish...

a whole while later, little Havie entered my life. it's actually exactly two years ago, almost to the hour, that i held him in my arms for the very first time. i remember waking up in the middle of the night after haven was born and starring at his little round face through his plastic basinette. i remember having an overwhelming feeling that my life would never. ever. be the same.

and it wasn't ever the same.

i never got to sleep the same - i never understood the word "tired" until i became a mother.

i had to work a whole lot harder and longer.

i sometimes felt a greater sense of lonliness.

i constantly questioned myself.

i stressed more.

i was needed way more.

i probably even cried more.

and i wouldn't change any of it. not for one single thing. because with the greater tears and the greater heartache, i experience greater joy.

haven is so wonderful. and every day i love him more and more. he is growing into himself more and more every day - and changing it seems, every second.

sometimes i miss that sweet little baby that i first met two years ago; i often wish that i had taken more pictures and more videos.

but then i look into his big brown eyes, all full of excitement and wonder and can't help but feel excited to watch him as he learns all about the world and the wonderful things there are for him to have.

i used to regret not having gone on a mission. but i've decided that regrets are a silly thing. because every day i'm reminded that i'm right where i'm supposed to be. these past two years have been the  very best - the best two years.

still cookin' in the oven :)

:) my bubbah shortly before he arrived.

fatso :)

auntie chellie

oh the faces of haven..

bi polar much? haha

laughing for auntie t

can't forget ol' ken :)

cutest santa ever? i think so.

auntie sara.

i wonder what team they root for???

haver thinks he's pretty fly. haha

just gettin' ready for his missionary days.

grandma :)

"maybe if i smile really cute she won't make me go in time out........"

first horsie ride! it was short lived... lol. i was too panicky.

bed time! for both of em!


first hair cut! i didn't allow for much to be taken off. but it was a start lol.

cutest boy ever? i think so!!!

my little family <3